Parker is my pen and trusty side kick, together we will change the world.
On occasion I do things that I know may be detrimental to my well being or damaging to my emotional state. Often my plunging into this pool of error and misjudgement is entirely intentional. I am fully aware of how ridiculous this may sound but often it is essential. I am also aware that in declaring such curious behaviour, I may be dismissed as a crazy individual with a desire or lust for self destruction. I therefore must explain my experimentation and use of error and emotion, for medicinal purposes.
This bizarre process all began when I was a child. I was at school climbing the flight of stairs that lead up to my English class. At the bottom of the never ending staircase (or so it seemed) was a busy hall, filled with students racing to their classrooms. All of a sudden I lost my footing and stumbled onto my bottom, which lead to me being on my back. Before I knew it I was rolling and flip-flopping down the stairs like a slinky! As If the accident itself wasn’t embarrassing enough, I rolled in such a way that my skirt kept rising and rising until I finally reached the bottom. By that point not only was I bruised, but half undressed and totally humiliated by the whole ordeal.
When I returned home my Mother said as mothers do, that it would be fine and I would forget it all in time. I remember even at this point feeling that this wasn’t enough. My Mother bought me my first fountain pen in attempt to compensate for this event. (Parker).
I suffered two whole weeks of the crippling stomach aches and pangs that walked with me to school each morning. Two weeks of worrying and lack of sleep whilst I lay replaying the event in my head, over and over. Two whole weeks of wishing I had never got up that morning. (Please bare in mind I was only a child, so falling down the stairs really was quite an ordeal! Also this was a turning point in the way that I thought about emotions, so perhaps it seemed more poignant than it would do to another individual.)
Two weeks and three days later, Parker and I were out in the woods collecting inspiration. Back then it usually came in the form of worms and bugs and bits of flowers which would later be turned into a fabulous potion. Parker and I ventured up a large tree, putting my well practiced climbing technique to the test, as the tree was bigger than any I had climbed before. We sat and stared at the ground, which seemed further and further away the longer we stayed up there. I suddenly became very aware that the descent was virtually impossible. After much deliberation I decided that the only way down was to jump! I put Parker back in his holster and wiggled off the brunch, free falling to the forest floor.
It was the most terrifying act I had ever known up until that point in time. My heart was racing, my adrenaline pumping, my thoughts in a chaos. Thoughts of what I could have done to myself, the injuries I could have endured, where I could have landed. My body was filled with fear and relief all at once. I looked up to see the branch I had been sitting on. My eyes then wandered down the tree in amazement at how far I had fallen. I noticed my foot prints in the semi-moist soil at the base of the tree. Most of all I noticed the absence of the stomach aches and pangs. I had sure enough scared embarrassment away with a mixed dose of fear and relief. The measure of adrenalin that was released due to the fall on the stairs was completely over run by a higher dose, released by the jump. To my innocent and slightly bemused mind the world of emotions finally made sense. I had finally figured out a way of processing such things. Not only this but I felt at the time that I had discovered an antidote! I figured therefore that the way to deal with emotions was with other emotions. The way to deal with a bad emotion was to create an event which would stimulate a more powerful feeling. A feeling that would in turn over run your negative essence. I had hacked into the system and discovered all the answers.
The trouble comes with the ever increasing dosages that are required to reset your emotional balance. There is a limit to the height from which you can jump. Parker and I have written many stories of worlds where accurate dosages of emotions are stored in vials for medicinal purposes.
For instance, let us take into consideration the events that I have just relayed. The naturally occurring levels of embarrassment caused by the fall down the stairs would become the ‘sickness’. The antidote for which was fear and relief all at once. Within my stories I chose the medical formula as (F²+R). One shot of (F²+R) would totally eliminate the symptoms of E³°°, or embarrassment as we better know it! Thus you would be free of your sickness! If only the world were that simple.
Parker and I got to thinking. We discussed how the antidotes do not necessarily need to be created with physical acts. Perhaps the same emotional reset could be obtained by emotionally exerting yourself to an extreme extent. Such an extent that you may rid yourself of sicknesses such as heartache ((H¾ +A¼)³°°) or grief (Gf²) , through injections of love. (There is no formula for love yet). Imagine how the world would be changed. There would be rather special, emotionally resilient individuals sent out to harvest human emotion for the benefit of those that could afford the relief.
I shall publish my stories on the matter soon. In the mean time I have added two poems about love the most curious of all emotions.
Have a wonderful weekend!
Love Spirit aka Li’l Literati.
I’ll tell you why I cannot kiss you,
For I would then want all of you.
Your heart, your soul and your time.
I would want your forever to be mine.
I just cannot kiss you,
As it will never be enough!
I’ll dream of you and eternity and unrequited love.
I’ll dream of what could have been,
And desires that never found a place
I’ll imagine that kiss forever,
A lonely forever…what a waste!
I’ll puncture my heart with sorrows
And bleed tears of could have been,
I’ll un-act that kiss for now
The kiss that should have been.
Spirit de la Mare aka Li’l Literati. London 2009
©.Spirit de la Mare. London 2010
Poetry in motion
To the wordsmith, from the poet:
A muse, a wordsmith.
Every one of your words a perfect kiss.
Regret would only fall if I were to miss this.
Read verses on dreams that fight my sombre tones.
Poetry in motion need never be alone.
Forbidden fruits of Eden,
Within one kiss, I’m reminded of my freedom.
Kiss a secret kiss,
Touch a secret touch.
Worlds collide and some align,
As beating hands make love.
It is only in fearlessness,
We are ever truly free.
Break from the shackles of heartache,
And know what it means to see.
Love favours the bold.
Always with a hand to hold.
With fearlessness and courage,
We win the battle with sin.
By Spirit de la Mare aka Li’l Literati. London 14/10/09
©.Spirit de la Mare. London 2010.